Wednesday, 1 April 2009

How to Find True Love

I always have problem with a relationship and until now I am still not sure who is the one that I should shared my life with. However, I got this interesting article and would like to share it here..

A romance writer shows her children ...

How to Find True Love
By Nadine Crenshaw

As a writer of romance novels, I create exotic fantasies. My heroines are beautiful, my heroes gilded with a touch of the legendary, my plots larger than life. Fans sometimes think of me as an expert on love, but my children never ask my advice. When I try to give it anyway, they roll their eyes. to then, I'm just Mom - too impossibly old-fashioned and ordinary to understand the winds of their times.

Since they have reached their teens, however, they often painful searches for that special someone have left me sleepless many a night. There are so many things I wish for them that I am utterly powerless to provide. Sometimes I imagine a little scene. Robby and Johanna ask me, "Mom, how do I find true love?" Here is what I say:

1. Understand that love is a state of mind and heart. It is not dependent on beauty, physical strength or the romantic settings I use in my books. Though it may begin with infatuation, it moves from physical attraction in a golden curve, often involving sacrifice, to the deepest bond between two people.

Love for me is specific: I speak of your father, Robert, my husband of 23 years. To you our marriage is as plain as vanilla ice cream, but it is the core of my life. Ours is the kind of love to which romance novels are just a prelude. Your dad doesn't arrange intimate dinners or second honeymoons. He doesn't bring me flowers. What he does is keep my car repaired and full of gasoline so I'll never be stranded. He vacuums the carpet when your grandmother is coming, not because he cares, but because he knows I care. Though your dad is not a pet person, when our old cat died, Robert buried hint for me. He held me while I wept. After I'd mourned for several months, he encouraged me to adopt a kitten. So remember, true romance, the enduring kind, often comes so cleverly disguised its easy to overlook.

2. Settle for nothing less than total commitment. I've seen couples live together in a trial marriage. That seems as logical as bitting into an orange to see if you have an appetite for an apple.

I know a man who has bitten one orange after another for years. He claims women are too into themselves to commit to a relationship, but he's got it backward. No one can open up the depths of her heart to a mere experiment. A marriage certificate wont solve all your problems, but until you have the guarantee of one, you cant begin the struggle to forge yourselves into one unit against the world, the ultimate goal.

A mate is the post you lean on, the person who, when you've really screwed up, loves you anyway. The only way to get that kind of mate is to make the dreadful leap of trust and be that kind of mate.

* To be continued tomorrow